Saloma Miller Furlong's Blog
Book Review and Giveaway: Ever Faithful to His Lead
There are all kinds of reasons why I read books. I get to glimpse inside the lives of others — some lives real and some imagined. I don’t just learn about other people as I "travel" to other worlds and lives through reading, I learn about myself, about human nature, and about the world around us.
Kathy Pooler’s book, Ever Faithful to His Lead had me rooting for her from the start, when she is leaving an abusive husband. I could relate to her on a personal level, even though her life experiences were so different from my own. She grew up in a healthy, functioning family. She had a career early on. She had so much confidence in her intellectual abilities. She seemingly had a healthy start in life, and the world was her oyster. This was all taking place at the time I was in intensive counseling in my twenties, grappling with the effects of the abuse I endured in my childhood and the transition into a whole different culture.
For many years after I left my Amish community for the second and final time, I often lamented that I didn’t have a healthy start in life. I thought many roads were not open to me because of my truncated education and the abuses I endured. I wanted to go back and change my childhood. And then, gradually, I realized that my childhood and my struggles in life are what I make of them. I had to get to the point of realizing that many roads are still open to me, before I could reach for my potential. My path eventually led me to seeking a college education and graduating from Smith College. It led me to writing books and publishing them. It led to thriving in my life.
Statistics show that abuse and dysfunction are often passed down through the generations when people who grow up in dysfunctional and abusive homes pick partners who will repeat family patterns. It is assumed that when someone like Kathy grows up in a healthy family, the partner she chooses will help her carry on the family pattern of living a healthy life. But that did not happen. She fell in love and married two different men who turned out to be dysfunctional and abusive.
As I was reading Kathy’s book, I kept wanting to urge her to listen to her inner voice that questioned what was happening, rather than obeying the voice that kept telling her everything would be all right. I kept wanting to tell her to take her time to get to know someone before rushing into marriage. And then when she was in deep, I wanted to urge her to have the courage to do something drastic, like leave the situation. Eventually she tapped into her inner resources and found the courage to do just that, both times.
All throughout Kathy’s marital struggles, she managed to be highly functional in her career, and she was a good mother, her one weakness being that she didn’t always listen to her inner voice that said she should protect her children from the man she married. Overall, she managed well, given her circumstances.
I learned several important life lessons from Forever Faithful to His Lead. First of all, there is no guarantee that if I had experienced a healthy childhood I would have done better later in my life. So much of how our lives turn out has to do with the choices we make. I also learned that growing up in a healthy family does not ensure that the partners we choose will treat us well. I was reminded that I have much to be thankful for. Most of all, I am grateful that I have the opportunity to share my life with David. According to statistics, the chances were high that I would have married an abuser. This book reminded me to not take my relationship with David for granted.
I am so happy for Kathy that she is now in a healthy relationship. I look forward to reading her second book, which will continue her story. I'm sure I will be grateful with her. She has a wonderful way of taking her readers on her journey with her. I hope you will get a chance to read her story.
Kathy is offering a giveaway copy, either an e-copy or a print book, of Ever Faithful to His Lead. Simply leave a comment for her here on this blog, and your name will be entered into the drawing.
About the Author: Kathleen Pooler is an author and a retired Family Nurse Practitioner whose memoir, Ever Faithful to His Lead: My Journey Away From Emotional Abuse, published on July 28.2014 and work-in-progress sequel, Hope Matters: A Memoir are about how the power of hope through her faith in God helped her to transform, heal and transcend life’s obstacles and disappointments: domestic abuse, divorce, single parenting, loving and letting go of an alcoholic son, cancer and heart failure to live a life of joy and contentment. She believes that hope matters and that we are all strengthened and enlightened when we share our stories. She lives with her husband Wayne in eastern New York.
You can meet up with Kathy Pooler using the following links:
Memoir Writer's Journey Blog
LinkedIn: Kathy Pooler
Google+ Kathleen Pooler
Kathy Pooler on Goodreads